Breaking From The Mold

Thoughts on Searby’s “overcoming perfectionism"

When ‘The Broken Binnacle’ was just a seedling of an idea in

James O'Reilly

’s mind, he asked me if I had any interest in joining. But it wasn’t merely an invitation. It was more of an “I would like you to…” than it was a “Would you like to...” James did this well; it was intentional and sincere. I was taught by my family to give your “yes” when someone asked you to do something, especially when that ask was sincere. But even at that time, an opposing seedling of doubt sprung in my mind. A voice of doubt that asked, “Was I a ‘writer’?”, or “What could I have to contribute?” Over time, that doubt festered into fear and that fear festered into complacency.

What did this fear and complacency look like? It wasn’t that I had lost all desire to contribute, but that I would place roadblocks in front of myself. Ideas would come to mind, only to be quickly discarded with the notion that they would never amount to anything once put to paper. Thoughts of what people might like or want to hear would come forward and I would think that I might not be the best person to deliver them. My complacency would create masterful excuses revolving around time and effort or other responsibilities.

But now you are reading the fruits of me putting pen to paper, so what happened? I recently listened to an excellent talk by Father James Searby on perfectionism.¹ Searby dove into the common vice of perfectionism and how it creeps into almost everyone’s life. He shared how it was really a two-sided coin. On one side you have the classic perfectionist, do everything perfect, ensure everyone else is doing everything perfect, and that nothing is going wrong! On the other side were those who do nothing, don’t try new things, and don’t want to mess anything up! Though seemingly opposite—think ‘Type - A - freak out boss’ vs ‘couch-potato bum’—these modes of being stem from the same vice. We don’t need to be one of these extremes to see this vice working in us. These two sides of the coin can really be wrapped up into one vice—the sin of acedia. Searby explained that both the perfectionist and the sloth are moved by the same thing, fear. The perfectionist, in their action, is scared of failing at anything they do. The sloth, in their inaction, is scared of failing at anything they do. More so, the perfectionist does not step outside of their zone, fearing that they may show their humanity by attempting anything outside their niche and destroy the outfacing image they have crafted for others in the process. The sloth does not attempt much of anything in the fear that (1) they might actually find success and be burdened with being asked to do more of it or (2) that their attempt will fail to achieve the relevant standard they have in mind.

Acedia, although mostly referenced as ‘sloth’, is a much deeper vice. Aquinas defines it as a “sorrow about spiritual good.”² JPII expands this idea:

“The fact is that attaining or realizing a higher value demands a greater effort of will. So in order to spare ourselves the effort, to excuse our failure to obtain this value, we minimize its significance, deny it the respect which it deserves, even see it as in some way evil, even though objectivity requires us to recognize that it is good….. St Thomas defines sloth (acedia) as ‘a sadness arising from the fact that the good is difficult’”³

What became clear to me was that the vice of acedia had grabbed hold of me and put me into a mold. I was bound by fear. In his talk, Searby at times addressed specifically the ‘young man.’ Of course, being one myself and being with young men frequently either through coaching, work, or friendship I immediately saw how this vice particularly targets the young man. Upon being launched into the world much is expected of the young man, at least the world makes it seem so. Find a job, get a promotion, find housing, and then again find a better job, get a bigger promotion, and buy a better house. This pressure, real or imagined, often freezes the young man, or drives him to obsess over certain things. I think some of it is a holdover from the teenage drive to not be unique or noticed—to just fit in and get by. Acedia for young men can manifest in different ways, a fear of commitment to relationships or pursuits, a lack of goals and drive, or an obsession to be the very best in their field, but forget all else. While a woman gives more freely, unconditionally, the young man calculates his effort, becoming efficient, one might say, to a negative degree. In the modern age, acedia is armed with a new weapon: technology, and its many henchmen such as gaming or pornography.

For myself, I am blessed to be broken from the mold, at least for this moment, by Fr. Searby, and to be reinvigorated to strive to combat this vice. Luckily for young men like myself, but also for professionals, parents, coaches, teachers and so on, Searby gives concrete steps for countering acedia. The first is to create a rule of life, or the norms you will abide by day to day. This means deciding what prayers you will say and when you say them, as well as adding small daily sacrifices. The second is to incorporate silence and reflection into each day. This allows us to be open to God’s voice but also forces us to face those fearful voices inside our head and heart and contend with them honestly. The third is to make time for intentional rest and leisure. We were given the Sabbath, and we were made to enjoy the gift of life, not always to be ‘grinding’ as perfectionism might incline us to. The fourth is to engage in cardiovascular exercise each day. Since we are creatures of a body-soul composite we must maintain our body to bring healing to our souls, as well as gain the mental and disciplinary benefits of physical movement. The last step is to change our mindset from ‘threat mode’ to ‘opportunity mode’ and take each action not as a burden, but as an opportunity for charity and growth.

With these steps, and God’s assistance, we can all be freed from the shackles of acedia. Although it is not helpful to dwell on his mode of being, it is important to recognize how the devil operates. While our God is masterfully creative, the devil is equally uncreative. He launches the same attacks against us time after time, person after person. The voice of doubt within me has no doubt entered the hearts of many. These fears are the formidable tools of the evil one but they are no match for the flood of love and grace available to us from our God when we open ourselves to Him. In our time, let us dispel the fears that plague us, and bring forth joy into our hearts and the world.

1. Fr. James Searby’s podcast “Holiness for the Working Day” is available on all major audio platforms, including Spotify. He is a Catholic priest at the Basilica of St. Mary’s in Old Town Alexandria, VA.

2. ST II-II, q. 35, a. 1.

3. Wojtyła, K. (1993). Love and Responsibility (Rev. ed.). Ignatius Press